Why NACE is my nemesis

You know, for a long time, I just did my thing. Corrosion, a little here, a lot there.  I spent years working on my masterpieces, uninterrupted. Metal was mine for the taking. Your tools, your water pipes, your rebar, even concrete from time to time… whatever I had a taste for. It was tremendous.

But then NACE came along. At first I wasn’t too worried. It wasn’t the first time someone had noticed me or thought about how to control my powers. And it was just a few guys talking about pipelines, wearing pocket protectors, probably.

But the association grew bigger and they started wising up to my other… shall we say… activities. They’ve written books and created a whole training program to think about ways to stop me. Pretty pathetic, really, but it’s cute how they try. They waste so much time having conferences, forming committees, writing standards– you think a little standard is going to stop me! Ha! Bwa ha ha!

Ahem. Excuse me.

A little competition is good for an evil villain like me. But these days, it’s getting a bit out of hand and I think it’s my obligation — nay, my dastardly DUTY — to put a stop to this nonsense. The silliest thing — you’ll laugh — these days, they’re trying get the government to pay attention to me. They’re trying to pass legislation to keep me down. “Ooh, let’s all go to Capitol Hill and talk to our representatives about corrosion.” Whatever.

Well here’s some news for you: I don’t follow the rules! The challenge just motivates me. I’m getting stronger.

Bring it, NACE.

Evilly yours,
Dr. Von Rust

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