My rise to world domination!

Minions, loyal followers, and fellow corrosion lovers, lend me your ears! It is time! I’ve spent years awaiting this moment– years spent diligently honing my skills of corrosion and decay, as skill turned to power, power turned to superpower. I’m feeling pretty great as I get ready to crash the CORROSION conference next week (new business cards, check; travel-size mustachio wax, check) . Hoping to round up a few new minions while I’m there– I just need to bring a few corrosion experts over to the dark side. My lab offers some pretty great perks, you know. We have a foosball table in the breakroom!

I may have to dodge the paparazzi … and, you know, the NACE officials (let’s just say my presence there isn’t exactly above-board), but the truth is, I need to be there to keep an eye on what the competition has up their sleeve, in terms of new corrosion-fighting tech. I know they can never really stop me, but I like to know what challenges I might be up against in the next few years…

Just remember, as long as I’m around, your infrastructure is never safe. Your bridges, your water pipes, your decorative metal lawn ornaments– MINE! After a few years anyway, and as long as there’s no corrosion mitigation strategy in my way. Who needs those, anyway? See you in New Orleans!

Villainously yours,


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